RIDING

We did end up going out for a ride anyway this weekend. I got to feeling better. As we rode along I thought about how I used to have such a fear riding in a car right after Robbie died. I would be literally white knuckled in traffic in Orlando because I was NOT in control of the vehicle.

It was awful. We drove to see his brother from Altamonte to Melbourne once and I thought I was going to shrink into the back seat due to the traffic and the stop and go all the way. I told him - NEVER again. I fast learned that I HAD to drive - be in control. That was the only way to get over the fear due to Robbie's death. This eventually went away.

I began thinking about that yesterday on the cycle and was amazed at how far I have come. Me riding on the back of a motorcycle, nothing around me but the air, wind NOTHING. AND Nick driving. I also thought, I am not afraid to die, I do know, (like I've always known before that I will be in glory) but now it somehow doesn't bother me. I look forward to leaving this earth. I know if I go while riding the motorcycle, it will be doing something I love doing.